Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

I first heard of Amy Chua (aka the Tiger Mother) a few months ago after a friend emailed me an article from the NY Times about her new book. I found the article intriguing and enjoyed discussing some of the differences between Chinese parenting (how she refers to herself) and Western parenting (how she labels American parents).

A couple of weeks ago when I took the kids to the local library for the first time, I noticed "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" on the shelf. It turns out she is a law professor at Yale. Since the campus is just a few minutes from where we live and Ryan is working as a resident at Yale University's hospital system for the next three years, I decided I would read this book I had heard so much about. I ended up really liking it. Sure, many of her parenting views/tactics are downright crazy, but so much of the book inspired me. I definitely gained a greater respect for "Chinese Parenting" in general, and I found myself constantly reassessing my own views on effecitive parenting and what is really best for my children.

One of the basic arguments that she makes is that "American parents" coddle their children too much (praising them for the smallest of accomplishments, like waving a stick or kicking a ball), shelter them from anything that is difficult (i.e. sports leagues where everybody wins, or intervening when a child doesn't receive a birthday invitation), and generally don't push them enough to reach their potential because it's just too hard to see them struggle. On that note, here is just one of the many paragraphs that made me think:

Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits, and inner confidence that one one can ever take away.


It was an interesting and quick read. Chua is candid and open about mistakes that she has made as a mother of two teenage girls. And even though her views on effective parenting are drastically different than mine, I have a lot of respect for her. There is no doubt that she loves her daughters and that she works really hard doing what she believes is best for them.