to the wolves...

Davis and Ryan playing after the D-Man's bath.

I imagine it's a somewhat common emotion to feel a little bit helpless as you send your child to school for the first time, like you are sending them to the wolves. Will his teacher take good care of him? Is he ready? Will he make good friends? What kinds of things will he learn from other children? All of these questions and others have been on my mind lately, so I was anxious to talk to Isaac after his first day of school. As we sat down outside an ice cream shop near our home, he began to tell me about his day.

"I made some new friends, but there were a few girls from another class that weren't being nice to us on the playground. They weren't giving us a turn on the slide and they were calling us mean names...Mom, what does whore mean?"
Choking on my saliva, I tried to remain cool and calm, but inside my heart was in my stomach. Day ONE and he's already learning horrible words! I'll never make it through a week, let alone a year! "Who said that word to you?" I asked casually. "Where did you hear that?"
Pointing to the door of the ice cream shop, he said, "It says right there, H--O--U--R, whore. What does that mean?"

We spent the next minute discussing how the ice cream shop is open 7 days a week and nothing about degrading names or promiscuous females. Thank goodness.

A Do-Over

I recently started a gratitude journal where I try to keep track of good things that happen throughout the day. It's also where I write funny things the kids say so I can remember them in the years to come. Tonight I feel like sharing what I wrote this evening:

• Today Maddie said to me at the beginning of quiet time, "Could you leave some water in the room for me to drink for when I start achooing?" I think "achooing" is a much better word than coughing/sneezing.
•  I am thankful that today is OVER. One of my hardest days as a mother EVER. I wish I would have handled things differently. The low point was losing my temper with Maddie over a HOT DOG. I told Ryan after the kids went to bed (with tears streaming down my face) that I wanted a do-over. "That's the great thing about being a parent to young children, honey, you get a do-over everyday because they won't remember this stuff in the morning." His words made me feel much better (even though Maddie probably will remember this stuff in the morning--just ask her what happened to her Dora's Pirate Adventure dvd).
• I am thankful for this episode I found about Motherhood on mormonchannel.org
• Today in the midst of my horrible day, I prayed that Ryan would call me. He did. He is somehow able to see me at my best even when I am acting my worst. I am thankful that I have the kind of husband that I hope calls me because I know he'll always cheer me on and give me just the pep talk I need. He even brought me home ice cream because he knows that Blizzards make any bad day better. 
• Family Home Evening was comical. I planned a lesson entitled "Using Kind Words" (because I myself needed it, thank you very much). We had not even finished the opening song, "Love is Spoken Here," when the D-Man marched unprovoked up to Isaac and yanked on his hair as hard as he could, which caused Ike to holler in pain, and both Ryan and I (and probably Maddie as well) to reprimand Davis, who then burst into tears. I felt a little hypocritical finishing the song, "...and the things they teach are crystal clear for love is spoken here..." after that incident. It only went downhill from there.
• At one point before bed, both Ryan and I were scolding Maddie pretty harshly for trying to KICK Davis down the stairs. "Do you know what happened to Isaac on the stairs?!?" said Ryan, "He broke his arm!!!" "Do you want Davis to fall and break his head?!?" I snapped.  "Actually," chimed Isaac, clearly oblivious to the tension in the room, "My arm didn't break, just the bones inside it." Not now, buddy, Not.Now. 
• Good thing tomorrow I get a do-over.

Luckily this sweaty boy was too exhausted to put up much of a fight at bedtime. A dirty look was his only retaliation. 

I Hope she Learned her Lesson

Yesterday during quiet time, Maddie decided to shove a piece of foam from a Nerf ball up her nose. Sheer panic ensued shortly thereafter. While talking to Ryan and after calming Maddie down, we decided to wait until he arrived home from work, since he had some long tweezers and was almost certain he would be able to remove the object.

Maddie ended up forgetting completely about the obstruction and I put her to bed that evening. Ryan came home an hour or so later and we decided to get her up and attempt to remove the foam while she was still sleepy and dazed.

Over an hour later, all three of us were completely exhausted and the object was still lodged in her right nostril. We could see the blue foam, but every time the tweezers got within an inch of our little girl's nose (as in, they weren't even touching her yet), she started shrieking (and I mean shrieking) in placebo-like pain. No distraction, bribe, threat, or even sheer force (I tried holding her down with all my might while Ryan attempted to remove the Nerf, but Maddie was too strong and I couldn't keep her completely still). She was simply scared out of her mind and unable to stay calm and completely still. It was a devastating experience for all of us and we decided to send her back to bed and come up with another plan of attack for the morning.

My biggest fear was that if she was acting this way with us, she probably wouldn't be any calmer for the doctor and they would end up having to sedate her. I really really didn't want to go to that extreme when we could see the object (just barely if a light was shone directly into her nose...so close yet so far away!) but couldn't keep her calm and still for the ten seconds it would take to pull the blasted thing out. It was jammed up her nose too high to use anything but those long scary tweezers to get it out.

While Maddie was using the potty before heading off to bed for the second time that night--by now it was 11pm--Ryan read somewhere online (thank you google!)about a tactic we  hadn't tried yet. It was our only hope. Just as she got out of the bathroom, he called to her.

"Maddie, can Papa give you a big silly kiss before bed?" By now she had calmed down completely and was chipper as could be.

"Um, Sure!" she bounced.

He then put his hand over the clear nostril, covered his mouth over hers, CPR-style, and blew into her mouth.

"That tickles, Daddy!" she giggled. So he did it again, but this time making sure everything was airtight. Then he blew like the big bad wolf right into her tiny pie hole.

Like a little miracle, the broken Nerf ball (about the size of a kidney bean) flew out of her nose and across the floor. I was so happy I could have kissed that piece of foam (but I didn't).

Everyone cheered and the three of us celebrated with ice cream and talked excessively about how we should never put anything up our noses.

I hope she learned her lesson and doesn't attempt this again.

I know I learned mine. No more Nerf balls during quiet time.

Maddie holding the offending object after it flew out of her nose. 

...Until Today

A couple of days ago, Ryan and I were laughing at this:

It's our new favorite show and we've been catching up on all the episodes online that aired before we started watching it. The episode we were watching was one where Lily, a newborn, gets locked in the car by her parents. Ryan leaned over to me and said, "We may have done a lot of stupid things as parents, but at least we've never done that."

Until today.

I had packed the kids up and we headed to the library to return the books that were soon due and get some new ones. I always drop the books that are due in the outside drop box so that I don't have to haul all the books in with the kids. As I stepped out of the car to drop the load of books into the book return, I thought to myself, "I should close the door--it's kind of cold outside..." As soon as I did it, I knew I had made a mistake. The door locked behind me.

Now, if you are a fan of Modern Family, you have seen Cam's reaction to locking Lily in the car. I can't say that I grabbed the nearest trash can and tried to hurl it at the car window, but I can empathize with feeling that way. I immediately panicked. "Isaac, can you unlatch your seat belt and unlock the door?" I pleaded.

He gave me a blank stare as if to say, "Seriously, Mom, don't you think I would have pulled that stunt months ago if I knew how?"

After thinking logically about the situation for a couple of moments and saying a quick prayer, I left the kids in the locked and running van and trucked up the icy path to the library. In my mind I kept telling myself, "Whatever you do, do NOT cry when you ask the librarian for help."

Ryan would have been proud of me--I didn't cry.

Everyone in the library was so helpful. They called the police who came as soon as they could. A locksmith came shortly after the police officer did---and 25 minutes and $42.40 later, the van was unlocked and we were on our way. Isaac didn't blink an eye at the whole ordeal and was fascinated with the locksmith's tools. Maddie, on the other hand, sobbed the entire time. It was a little more traumatic for her.

I'm so glad so many people were so helpful and that I didn't have to hurl any garbage cans or break any windows.

Oops...

Isaac hates getting his hair cut. I mean he HATES it. I'm pretty sure he would rather get vaccinated than have me cut his hair. We're talking screaming and thrashing and alligator tears.

This morning we decided it needed to be done. Ryan was holding him down while I used the clippers. There was a little bit of dialogue between Ryan and I as to whether or not we should just buzz him for the summer. I remember it going something like this:

Ryan: "Should we just buzz him?"

Me: "Sure. I'm fine with that if you are."

Ryan: "Yeah, let's just buzz him."

We both consented to buzz him, right? So that's what I started to do. And of course, I went right down the middle of his little head with the clippers. That's when I realized my mistake. It was SOOO short! I may as well have used a bic razor on him. But there was no turning back. The damage had been done.

Ryan remembers our conversation going a little more like this:

Ryan: "I don't think we should buzz him, do you?"

Me: "Of course we should, move out of my way!" (as I begin shaving Isaac's head).

As his mother, I still think he looks handsome. But I can't wait for his hair to grow a bit. He doesn't seem to mind. He keeps rubbing his hand over his head because he likes the way it feels. WARNING: Feel free to tease me to your heart's content about this mishap, but be aware that I might burst into tears if you do. It's a semi-sensitive subject right now...

The silver lining is that his hair is so short we won't have to have this traumatic experience again for at least another six months.

Confessions of a School Teacher

Confession: I haven't been very good at reading to my children. As a teacher, I have preached the value of reading to children to countless parents, and yet somewhere along the way I became a hypocrite.

It's not that I never read to them, I just haven't done it as often as I should. A book here or a story there. I used to be stellar at reading to Isaac, but something happened the day we brought Maddie home from the hospital and my workload suddenly doubled (excuses, excuses).

Isaac has always loved books but Maddie---not so much. A few weeks ago I decided that something had to change. After brainstorming with a friend, I have decided to block out a specific time each day just to read and sing songs with them. It has done wonders for both of their desires to read. We usually do it right after breakfast. Yesterday morning I hadn't said anything to Isaac about reading, but I asked Maddie while taking her out of her high chair if she wanted to read some stories. By the time I carried her over to the living room where we usually read, Isaac (who must have overheard me talking to Maddie) was all ready to go. He was sitting down quietly on his pillow and had pulled one off the couch for Maddie. It was really cute.

I realize that schedules/routines don't work for everyone, but this one has really been working for us. Wish me luck that I'll be able to keep it up!

Baby Food is Maddie's current favorite. She carries it around and throws it at me (translation: Read this book to me, Mama) several times a day. If you haven't read this book and you have a toddler in the house, I highly recommend it. It's adorable.

Tren de Carga: Isaac's current favorite. "Cars drive on the road, trains drive on the track," is something he repeats several times a day. He loves to read now more than ever.

While cooking dinner tonight I poked my head around the corned to see what the kids where up to. This is what I found---Two "readers!"---it just melts my little teacher heart.

Stitches

If there was ever a time where I felt like a bad parent, they paled in comparison to tonight. Isaac was "helping" Ryan and I cook dinner. He was sitting on the counter in his bumbo (bad idea, very bad idea) while Ryan chopped up veggies and I stirred the soup at the stove. Isaac suddenly bent forward without warning and plummeted to the floor. The garlic press in his hand broke his fall, smack dab between his eyes. It was pretty messy. He was quite upset, but as we drove to the emergency room about 5 minutes after the accident, I gave him a sucker and he dried right up. No more tears were shed the entire night, even when they put him in a straight jacket and stitched him up six times.

Here is the battle wound:

I realize that I am developing a habit of posting pictures of Isaac being spoon fed things that aren't good for him, but ice cream was his reward for diving off of the counter. The boy loves that stuff.

I still think he's a cute little Frankenstein, even all beat up.

I finally caved and started feeding Maddie solids this week. Eating solids means she's getting bigger and I haven't been ready to face that.

She did quite well in the emergency room also, thanks to the Dora movie they put on in Isaac's room. For some reason she thought it was hilarious.

Spoke too Soon

Our conversation last night at the dinner table went something like this:

Me: "You know, I'm really proud of Isaac and how well he's adjusting to having Maddie in our family."

Ryan: "Yeah, me too. He's such a good kid."

Me: "I mean, sure, he struggles every once in awhile---like always trying to lay on top of her during tummy time, or shoving his hand in her face every time they're in the stroller together----but overall, he's such a good big brother. I can't imagine him ever doing anything to hurt her."

Not 30 seconds later (no lie), Isaac---who had been tickling Maddie's toes as I held her in my lap----opened his wide mouth and bit Maddie's chubby little knee. So hard that it left teeth marks.

Guess I spoke too soon.