Sugar Sweet Sugar

Nine and a half months ago I decided to work with a personal trainer online. She has an eight week diet/exercise program and I thought it would help me focus on my nutritional needs as well as push myself physically. I was right. Megan from munchercruncher.com is simply my favorite health and fitness guru in all the world. It's not an exaggeration to say that she changed my life.

The biggest way my life changed was cutting out sugar. I knew I loved sugar, but I didn't understand before working with her that I was addicted to sugar. Truly it was my drug of choice. Once I cut out the sugar, the headaches that I had been getting on at least a bi-weekly basis suddenly disappeared. It was a small miracle. I have been getting headaches regularly for as long as I can remember. I had pretty much given up on figuring out why, so this was a wonderful revelation. After the eight weeks was up, I discovered that sugar just didn't bring me the same joy that it once had. Because of that,  I mostly have given it up. If my kids get an ice cream cone, I'll take a lick (mommy tax). If I make a delicious dessert when company comes over, sometimes I have a bite or two, sometimes more (knowing that I will most-likely suffer from a headache if I do, but at least I know why). Sometimes I pass on dessert all together.

Now don't confuse "passing on dessert altogether" with "I never eat treats." Because I do. There are plenty of treats that aren't sweetened with sugar. And I enjoy those often. Stevia, I love you.

It might sound extreme but it works for me. I try not to force it on anyone (though my family eats less sweets automatically since I don't bake/buy as many as I did), and my kids know that "mom doesn't eat much sugar because it gives her a headache." I can honestly say that I have never felt better. It's hard to pass on dessert sometimes, but not nearly as hard as dealing with nasty headaches on the regular.

Snickering

My People.

Tonight I was helping Nathan read his verse of scripture during family scripture study. I read a line at a time to him and he repeated it to the family. It just so happened that the word ass was in his verse. As soon as he recited it to the family, snickers from the three older kids came in rapid succession. Nate must have been really tired because he didn't even notice. After reading the new word, he paused and said, "Mom? What's an ass?" That's when everyone erupted in laughter. Davis then proceeded to find ways to say "dumb ass" over and over throughout scripture study. I told him that his teacher most definitely would not find that phrase as funny as his siblings do.

Totally Worth It.

I believe I've mentioned before that we live in a small town. Like, really small. A no-stop-lights, no-grocery-stores, one-teeny-tiny-gas-station-kind-of-town. There are a couple of other homes on our street, but no children reside in them. I often dream about living in a neighborhood where the kids run from house to house and have a little gang of friends around them all the time. My sister lives in that kind of neighborhood. It seems kind of magical. Our home in Gilbert was located in that kind of neighborhood. But those kinds of neighborhoods don't really exist in rural Maine. I have discovered, though, that because my children don't have a neighborhood posse, they rely on each other. A lot. And while they fight a lot, they also really love each other. Especially these two. And that makes living in rural Maine totally worth it.

Autumn Time

We are soaking up these warm Autumn days as long as we can. We have had better weather this summer/fall in Maine than I can ever remember, anywhere. Winter is right around the corner (and daylight savings---hello 4pm sunsets!) but I am hoping to take it in stride this year---a few more fires in the wood stove, a few more movies and popcorn in the living room, and a few less down-in-the-dumps days.

So Much Love

This is how we feel about having Grandma and Grandpa in town. So much love.

A Year of Yes

I have never seen more than a clip or two of either Grey's Anatomy, How to Get Away with Murder,  or Scandal, but I'm quickly becoming a big Shonda Rhimes fan. I don't know how you can read her book and not just love this woman. Year of Yes is both laugh-out-loud funny (I mean, she mentions Travolta's Adele DaZeem moment at the Oscars---how could I have forgotten about that??) and truly inspirational and even profound at the same time. She will have you wanting to say "yes" to all the goals you've wanted to accomplish but have been too afraid to pursue.  

Beautiful Maine

We live in such a beautiful place. And I love Wednesdays. So so much. Ryan typically doesn't work so we get to spend the day together. Nathan calls it "Fun Day."

Buffers

So...Here's some honesty for you: I've been working lately on removing things from my life that I use as a distraction/numbing from reality. Two of my go-tos for a loooonnnngg time have been:

1) Distracting myself with social media (Kids are driving me crazy? Just check instagram! Don't want to do housework? Who's posted on Facebook lately?) Anytime I want to "check out" from my life, I often can be found checking social media.

2) Food--my preferred drug of choice. It's just so easy to numb with food, ya know? Waaaay easier than dealing with the problem/emotion at hand.

Here's what I've noticed as I've been working to remove these buffers/numb-ers from my life: Living a life without buffers is uncomfortable! It feels restless. And it's hard to break habits I've created for more than 30 years---I can't easily undo all I've done. But it also feels like I'm beginning to be a more authentic version of myself. If I can handle to unpleasant emotions that I've tried to mask for so long, I think I can handle anything. I'm trying to pat myself on the back every time I choose discomfort over social media buffering or eating when I'm really not hungry. I heard this quote recently and it made sense to me:

The only problem food can solve is hunger. 


Boom. I'm putting that one up on my wall as a daily reminder. In all other cases, using food to cope just buries the emotions. But they always resurface. Always.

Sustain and Support

Our feeble attempt at a group selfie after a presidency meeting.

In September 2016, almost exactly a year ago, I was called to be our branch Relief Society president. To say it was a shock would be an understatement. Stunned and in complete disbelief pretty much summed up my feelings at the time. We had only moved into the branch a few weeks before and it just hadn't crossed my mind that it was even a possibility. 

To be honest, it was a rough start. I cried. A lot. Sometimes I still do. But one thing I've never shed any tears over is my choice of counselors. I knew no one in the branch when I was asked to choose sisters to serve with me. But Heavenly Father knew the sisters well and, with the help of the branch president, he guided me to these lovely ladies. I could not do this without them. They sustain me and support me and I am so grateful for them. It has been a year of humility and personal growth for me. This calling is, without a doubt, the hardest church responsibility I have ever had (except maybe being a missionary?). But I am growing and learning and hopefully serving a little bit too.

Finished and Complete

Elder Holland did it again! His messages always speak to me in a special way (let's face it, everyone loves Elder Holland). I myself am a recovering perfectionist, and though I've come a long way over the past few years, it still creeps back in more often than I would like. But Elder Holland's explanation of "Be ye therefore perfect" from Matthew 5:48 was just wonderful. And I love his words about the New Testament's definition of perfection is "finished and complete", not flawless. 

"Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human. May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, to make us cynical about the truths of the gospel or hope for our future or the possibility of true godliness. If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete—which is the New Testament meaning of perfection." —Jeffrey R. Holland

I haven't yet caught up with all of the sessions I missed yesterday, but man, conference is just hitting it out of the park this time! It just seems to get better and better.