Red Sox Game

Our family met up with Lynn and Mary-Ann this weekend in Boston for a Red Sox game. Everyone should visit Fenway Park at least once in their life. I'm no baseball expert but it's a pretty cool stadium and a great atmosphere.
As we made the 8 hour round trip drive to the game and back, Ryan and I reflected on how much easier it is to travel with our kids than it was a few years ago. Nathan has been known to scream for the majority of cross-country moves, on 5 hour plane rides, and everywhere in between. Some of those days were rough. These days, though? These days are great. We are in a really sweet spot between not having anyone in diapers or car seats, and yet they are all still young enough that they want to spend time with us. I'll do my best to soak it all in while I can.

Doing Hard Things

I know I've written about this season's cross country team, but seriously, I am loving it! It's pretty much impossible for me to watch a meet without tearing up a little bit. Running is hard work and distance running especially takes so much determination and mental motivation. Running is such a metaphor for life. We just have to keep going. And get up every time we fall. It's a race to become our own best selves, better every day. I could go on and on.

Maddie set a goal at a practice this week to run the entire race on Thursday without stopping. Her coach (and principal) overheard her and said, in front of the whole team, "If you accomplish your goal, I'll buy popsicles for the entire team." Her good friend, worried about the pressure that it might put on Maddie, replied, "That's not fair to her, coach..." Without skipping a beat, Maddie whipped her head around and jokingly but reassuringly replied to Sophie, "Don't you believe in me?!!"

It's hard to catch a smile on Ike's face while he's running. It's usually 100% determination. But there's a tiny one there if you look close. 

Her improvement this season has been so exciting for me to watch. 

Giving it her at as she crossed the finish line. She and her teammate were neck and neck, but the pulled ahead at the end "by an inch" she said. 

I seriously love watching my kids finish a race. No one was near him during this final stretch, but I still watched Isaac push it as hard as he could so that he could beat his own time. 

Maddie ended up running yesterday's race without stopping once (a first!). The coach told me he would make good on his promise. "Looks like your daughter is going to cost me some money."

Welcome to the club, Mr. Russo.

Isaac's Date Night Out

When I was a kid my most favorite thing was one-on-one time with either my mom or my dad. There is something super awesome about not having to compete with anyone for the attention of your parents. Years ago I decided that I wanted to make one-on-one time a priority with our children, so as soon as Ryan finished his busy medical residency, we made a plan of how to make that happen. It's not fool-proof, but if we follow it, it usually assures that each of our kids gets four one-on-one dates per year, which, in my book, is a pretty good start.

The first Sunday of every month, either Ryan or I will take each of the kids aside separately and give them an interview. We've tried setting goals (but never really been too successful at following through), but we mostly just talk to the kids. Sometimes I print off a little questionnaire (there's no shortage of "Questions to Ask Your Children" on Pinterest), and sometimes we just chat for a few minutes. The interview usually involves some kind of treat or snack (popcorn is a family favorite) and we always make sure to schedule the date nights for the month during the interview. If we don't schedule them, they don't happen. One child each month gets a one-on-one date with the parent of their choice, and the other 2 children get what we term a "late-over." (Nathan won't get late-overs or one-on-one dates until he goes to school because every day is a one-on-one date with me and him) Late overs usually consist of playing a game with mom and/or dad after the other kids have gone to bed. Late overs usually last 15-20 minutes. Date nights have included movies, window shopping, bowling, and trips to the over-priced candy shop. It's usually child-choice. The kids love it. And if we plan it, it's not a big deal to execute. It doesn't feel unmanageable or overwhelming.

Last night was Isaac's turn for a date night out. He chose to see the new Ninjago movie with me. I spoiled him with popcorn and candy and even let him get the soda of his choice--Pepsi. There were just a few of us in the theatre and he and I laughed and laughed at all the silly jokes. I hope he remembers nights like that. I know I will.

Podcast Recommendation

 I've mentioned before that I'm a podcast junkie--I seriously LOVE them. I listen to at least one a day (often several). There are just so many good ones! One of those very good ones is Bold New Mom. Jody Moore is a life coach that specializes in working with LDS mothers. Now, before your thoughts run wild about how cooky life coaches are (been there, believe me), you should really give her a chance. She has great ideas that have honestly changed my outlook on life and the relationships that are important to me. I love her work so much that I decided to join her community of moms and I'm loving it. She specializes in empowering women to make the most of their lives. Give her a listen!

 I love this quote--because when it really comes down to it, what other people think of me is none of my business! What matters is what I think of me (and how I choose to love them).

 I once heard the thought that "a mother is only as happy as her saddest child" and it's bothered me ever since! I can be happy and want my kids to be happy without NEEDING them to be happy. That is their choice to make--their emotions are not mine to control.

I can always choose to choose love. And I love that. 

Ramblings on Motherhood

Popham Beach in August. Isaac was behind the camera and Maddie is crouching in the background.

In the past I have often worried that my weaknesses and inadequacies as a mother might negatively affect my children (What will they be telling their therapist about me/their childhood in 30 years while laying on a Chaise lounge with their eyes closed?). It at times has kept me up at night, riddled with guilt and even shame for not giving them a perfect role model. Just writing that down sounds ridiculous--who is even capable of that??

I recently heard a much more empowering thought that has helped me feel much less guilty and much more empowered as a mom: Of course my weaknesses and inadequacies are going to negatively affect my children---duh! But maybe, just maybe, my lack of perfection and specific set of weaknesses is just what they need in this life to learn and grow into the best person they can be. 

My weaknesses just might bring out their strengths and give them the opportunity to grow. Whether it's true or not, it feels much more liberating to me--I don't have to be perfect! I couldn't be no matter how hard I tried! But that might be just what my kids need. And that thought right there helps me show up for my family much better than any unattainable perfectionist expectations ever could.