Our New Home

In June, just a day before Maddie's baptism, Ryan and I bought our first home together. After 3 other failed attempts to buy a home, this one finally worked out! It must have been meant to be. Here we are in November, and while I'm still trying to find my place in our new town (and in Maine, if I'm being honest), I feel so at home in our new home. I love almost everything about it and feel like it's perfect for our family and this stage of life we are in right now. 

The kitchen is my favorite place in the whole house (no surprise). This photo just represents happiness to me. My family gathered together over food. I love it.

Ryan and Mary-Ann built me this island. When we bought the home all that was in it's place was a tiny mobile coffee-cart-type-counter. This island was a labor of love just for me and I love it so much.

We inherited a bunch of furniture with the home, which was nice to not have to buy a ton of stuff. I love that The living room and the dining room and the kitchen are all so open. 

See that Brian Kershisnik print on my wall? Love, love, love.

I also love the exposed beams.

The master bedroom.

The toy room. This is my second favorite place in the house. I love that the kids have space of their own to be wild and crazy and creative and that it's not right next to my bedroom or the main living area! And it doubles as a work-out room for me in the early morning. Total bonus.

The home lacked a mudroom (kind of essential here in Maine), so Mary-Ann designed one off of the playroom. She's a genius like that. 

More of the play room. 

MOHS Surgery

Because I was diagnosed with Melanoma 6 years ago, I regularly see a dermatologist who checks my skin for anything suspicious. It is extremely rare for me to leave her office without having done a skin biopsy. Since my melanoma diagnosis, all biopsies have come back benign (yippee!). But a couple of weeks ago when I went in for my semi-annual checkup, my Dr. noticed a teeny tiny mark on my right cheek. She immediately said, "I'm 99% sure that's basal cell carcinoma. We are going to have to biopsy that." Basal cell carcinoma is the most common form of skin cancer. It's super slow-growing and not likely to metastasize. That being said, it's still cancer and my Dr. (and I), wanted it gone. So she took a sample of it (along with 2 other suspicious marks) and I was on my way. 

Now I like to think that I'm not a particularly vain person, but the truth is I care about my face! I even caught myself being self-conscious of the tiny circle-band-aid-sized biopsy on my cheek, so I was anxious about having to remove more skin there once the biopsy results came back. 

Sure enough, my very competent dermatologist was right---the biopsy showed basal cell carcinoma just below my right eye. The good news was that the other two suspicious-looking marks both came back negative (phew!), so I only needed further treatment for the one on my cheek. 

Yesterday morning in a minor surgical procedure, I had the cancerous skin removed from my face in what is called MOHS surgery. It took most of the day because they remove thin layers of skin and then send them off to the lab while you wait in their office for the results. Once enough layers have been removed that the tissue is declared cancer-free, they stitch you up and you can be on your way. My particular surgery took two layers of skin to remove all the cancerous tissue (not the one layer we had hoped for, but definitely not a worst-case-scenario). These two layers of skin being removed landed me a puffy soon-to-be black eye and the proud owner of 20 stitches front and center on my face. 

Here I am awaiting the results of my first layer of tissue. I kept Ryan posted while I was in the waiting room with pictures and texts. He was at home taking care of Nathan. Notice the puffy, hard-to-keep-open right eye. 

Here is my battle wound right after being stitched up but before getting bandaged. My Dr. is optimistic that, given 2 or 3 months, no one but me will be able to notice the scar on my face. I am so thankful for her cautious care with my skin and especially for being so perceptive to notice the tiny cancer spot in the first place. She was so sensitive to my situation and took a lot of time to make sure she stitched me up as flawlessly as possible.

I know that this probably wouldn't be a big deal to most people. It was nothing as scary as the Melanoma I dealt with 6 years ago. But for some reason every time I find myself in the dermatologist's or oncologist's office, I get anxious butterflies in my stomach. It's hard to keep all those tender feelings buried and not worry a little bit about getting bad news again. But even though I was anxious and nervous and had knots in my stomach, I was able to feel peace through my nerves. I knew a lot of family members and the few friends who knew were praying for me and thinking of me, and I felt their prayers and support.

If I have learned anything from all of these skin cancer scares, it's the importance of sunscreen. It really does make a difference. And it only takes a second to apply. My kids get doused in it every time we spend time in the sun. I'm relentless about it and hopefully always will be. So here's my friendly little PSA--Wear Sunscreen!! And make your children wear it too.

Maddie's Baptism Day

I meant to record my feelings about Maddie's baptism shortly after the ceremony, but obviously that didn't happen! So here we are, months later playing catch up. We had a family home evening lesson last night on the importance of keeping records/journals, and I vowed to start updating this family blog weekly again. Wish me luck. 

Maddie was baptized and confirmed on June 11, 2016. It was such a pay-back day for me as a parent. Her primary teacher, Jennifer Arbour, spoke on baptism, and she asked her cousin, Carson, to speak about the gift of the Holy Ghost. They both did beautiful jobs and brought the Spirit into the meeting. Then she and Davis and Isaac sang "When I am Baptized." This was the highlight of the meeting for most people, I think. There were a lot of tears shed as the three of them sang so sweetly and innocently (I bribed them with lollipops or some kind of candy and they totally delivered!). I was also impressed with how many people from our branch came and supported Maddie. It was so touching. She invited a few friends from school, and one of them came and brought her mom with her. It was special for Maddie (and me) to teach them a little bit about our faith.

Ryan's parents were able to fly in for the week and it meant so much to us to have them there. 

When Maddie came out of the water, I was waiting between the font and the dressing room with a towel for her. As I wrapped her body in the towel, her face was beaming and tears just started streaming down my face. I tried to explain to her through tears that I was just so happy for her, the decision she had made, and the chance that I have been given to be her mother.

Not only did Lynn and Mary-Ann come into town, but so did Shannon, Matt, Natalee, and Carson! It was extra special to have them with us.

Playing around with her brothers and Carson...

oops. 

A Cabin on the Coast

Finding a home to purchase here in Maine has been a challenge, to put it mildly. To not put it mildly, it's been hellacious. After three failed attempts at finding a home (I swear, they should have a frequent inspector's discount---Inspect three homes with us, get one free!!), we (hopefully) found one that looks like it's going to work out. Because all the other homes we were hoping to buy all fell through (poison in the water, bats in the basement, clay in the water, undisclosed frozen pipes, and flooded basements, to name a few of the problems that inspections unearthed), we found ourselves without a place to live for a few months after the rental we were living in was sold. No big deal, right? Just find a short-term apartment lease? Nope. Not in rural Maine. No such thing exists, at least not that we could find (and we searched EVERYWHERE. And our parents searched EVERYWHERE they could online. And our friends--several of them---searched EVERYWHERE. Truly no stone was left unturned. Luckily our former landlord, upon hearing of our housing debacle, made a few phone calls and found a friend who was willing to rent us her summer home for the few months until we could find a home to purchase (which we thankfully found right after moving into this temporary rental). The farmhouse we are renting right now is almost 200 years old and is... interesting...to say the least. Despite what I'm about to write about this home, we really are so fortunate to have found it and not be homeless or living in a hotel. That was our only other option!!

We are across the street from the ocean. On windy nights, you can hear the waves crashing against the rocks if you listen closely. 

The property is located on 10 or so acres of land, but we stick mostly to the land directly surrounding the home. 

This is the old claw foot tub that supplies our only ability to get clean. Charming but so not practical. We take every chance we can to exercise or swim at the YMCA so we can shower there! I day dream about showers sometimes (every.single.day). The sad thing is, that while it's frustrating to only have a tub to get clean, the real kicker is that the water in our home is full of sulfur. In case you've forgotten , let me refresh your memory---sulfur smells like rotten eggs. So AFTER we get out of the tub, all we smell are rotten eggs. Scented bubble baths and soaps have been only mildly effective. Anytime water is used, that sulfur smell is present. Obviously we don't drink the water, but even washing dishes is so much less enjoyable because of the stinky water. It has really helped me appreciate clean water and I simply cannot wait to live in a home with odorless H2O!!

There is a real cabin-y feel to this place. I mean, it dons a man-sized Smoky the Bear, for crying out loud. What is more cabin-y than that? I know. Antlers. And there is no shortage of antlers here. Dozens of them. Not to mention antler lamps, antler chandeliers, and even a talking deer head that sings Willie Nelson and Garth Brooks songs. 

On the plus side, the school bus still comes and drops the kids of right in front of our house. On this particular day, Maddie stayed home from school sick and she and Nathan went outside to wait for the boys to get home after school. 

Posing outside the shed (cute shed, huh?) on Easter Sunday.

We are three miles from my favorite lighthouse. We love to go down there (especially at sunset) to throw rocks in the ocean and watch the sky change colors. 

Run, Forest, Run!

Having the lighthouse and the ocean so close will be missed. And we are sad to be moving outside our current church boundaries. But we simply can't wait to buy a home together after almost 11 years of marriage!

Nathan's Broken Leg

Yesterday morning in the Emergency Department.

Ryan put our yesterday like this: "Some days are better than others. Today was one of the others."

It started out by grabbing some granola bars and water bottles and heading out the door with the kids to get some exercise together. Parks in our neck of the woods aren't plentiful, so we often hit up the local elementary school. We decided to drive to a school a little bit further away to give the kids a change of scenery and find a grassy spot for Ryan and I to do a few burpees and sprints. 

Once we got to the park the kids immediately ran off to play, with Nathan right along with them. I think they were playing "Star Wars" and Nater was the Wookie. As Ryan and I passed the playground to get to the nearby grassy field, he commented on one of the slides because it didn't have any sides and looked like it was meant to be straddled instead of slid on. Kind of like this one but not as tall: 

Stupid Slide.

After 20 or so minutes of Star Wars play, Nathan took a tumble on that crazy slide. Ryan knew after just a couple of minutes that it wasn't a good diagnosis. When we told the older kids to pack up their stuff, they asked why. "We are pretty sure Nathan broke his leg, so we need to take him to the hospital right away." Immediately, my stalwart 9-year-old who rarely gets emotional just put his head down on the table and started to cry. I reassured him that everything would be fine and that Nathan would be ok, He responded through tears, "I promised him that if he slid down the slide, he would be safe, and I didn't keep him safe!!" Talk about pulling at the heart strings! I, of course, carry my own guilt about the situation because I should have been closer to him. Each one of us has felt some sense of responsibility, and even Nathan said to me yesterday, "Mommy, I sorry I went down dat swide and bonked my weg."

The truth is that it wasn't anyone's fault, and I've told the older kids over and over that sometimes accidents just happen. But next time I'll keep a closer eye on him, just in case. 

While I don't enjoy seeing my children in pain, it's never torn me up inside to see them cry themselves to sleep as babies or after vaccinations or skinning their knees. Stuff like that is just part of life and I know they'll be OK. But hearing Nathan cry and struggle to get comfortable and sleep last night just brought me to tears. I can't wait for him to be better. I keep telling him that he's brave and that he can do hard things. When I carried him to the bathroom yesterday and told him that he exclaimed, "But I can't do hard things! I can't!" But he did. And he'll keep doing them until he's healed. 

I'd be lying if I said that I'm not really disappointed about how Nathan's broken leg is going to put a wrench in our upcoming company visiting and our summer plans and our move next month and our trip to Utah. But it's such a small thing that could have been so much worse so I'm reminding myself to have a little perspective.  

Today was Fast and Testimony meeting at our church. I told the kids last night that I would be fasting for Nathan and that they could fast with me if they would like. Every single one of them said they would. And they are. They each had second thoughts about it when they woke up hungry and breakfast sounded like a good idea, but they did it anyway. I hope it's a positive, faith-building experience for them. Based on the fact that it's 11:30am and their baby brother is still asleep, I'd say their fasting and prayers are working. He'll be healed in no time.