Take Care of Yourself Already!

Are you in the habit of practicing self-care? I'm not really talking about the spa-day, manis-and-pedis, treat-yo-self kind of self-care (though all of those are great), I'm talking about the positive-self-talk kind of self-care.

Let's say you mindlessly eat half a box of Oreos. Instead of beating yourself up about it with thoughts like, "I have not self-control. I'm such a cotton-headed ninny muggins!" You might instead direct your thoughts to, "Huh. I wonder why I ate half a box of Oreos? Could I be stressed about something? What was I thinking about right before I did that? What is it I really need? (hint: the answer isn't more Oreos)"

Curiosity leads to compassion. And compassion leads to love. And lasting change comes from love.

You know what never leads to change? Hating yourself. No one in the history of ever made lasting positive changes from a shameful place. Nobody.

You can't hate yourself healthy. You can't hate yourself into being the kind of mom you think you should be. You have to come from a place of love and compassion. And if you can't get there, curiosity is a great place to start.

Merry Christmas!

Food as Fuel

I'm pretty sure Julia Childs would love me. She gets credit for saying,

"People who love to eat are always the best kind of people." 

Amen, Julia. If you know me at all, you know that I LOVE food. So much. So very much. I mean, I'm a Roundy, it's in my DNA. It's my love language. It's how I show love, how I feel loved, and something I love to think about.

But here's the thing. I recently was introduced to the concept that food is just fuel for your body. That's it. It's purpose isn't to entertain us, make us feel better, or take away our problems. The only problem food solves is hunger. Brooke Castillo taught me that.

But what kind of a drab life would it be if I only ate food to fuel my body? How boring is that?

Not boring at all, it turns out. I've actually been putting this to the test lately in my life, and when I focus on eating foods that fuel my body (read:it usually doesn't come in a wrapper and it's not made with a bunch of powdery white stuff unless that white stuff is cauliflower), and I only eat food when I'm hungry, it frees up so much space in my brain to think about so many other things that I'm interested in. It is slowly helping me be more of an active player in my own life. Imagine that! I'm noticing that I'm noticing my kids more. Like how Nathan scrunches up his nose when he's building with magnatiles, or how Maddie picks up on little nuances from her favorite tv show, Studio C.

When I eat this way, I notice that I don't think so much about what I shouldn't eat (because I have set some clear guidelines for myself about what foods best fuel my body that I should eat, and I plan in advance to have those foods available to me).

When I do choose to eat foods that aren't good fuel, I try make that decision at least 24 hours in advance so I'm not a victim to the ice cream at the back of the freezer after the kids go to bed (unless I've planned it in advance, of course). For example, at the Christmas party this weekend I'm totally having a piece of cheesecake. Done. Planned. Then on that night, I go to the party with a plan (which includes a piece of cheesecake, but not eating the entire bread basket).

Instead of telling myself, "I deserve to eat whatever I want at the Christmas party--hello! It's Christmas!" I have been telling myself things like, "You know what I really deserve? To feel good. To have a healthy body. To not have a food hangover the day after the party because I ate a bunch of junk."

I still love food, but I'm learning to love it because it keeps me alive and healthy, not because it entertains me and not because it softens the blow of a bad day.

Give it a try. Eat only foods that fuel your body and watch to see how much joy you can find outside of food. You'll feel better and you just might find your REAL passion.

It's not easy, but it's really simple. I bet you'll love it (once you stop hating it, of course).